Perfect Pancake Fail - Jeff and Alyssa

photo-8In celebration of Jeff staying home to work today, I decided I would make this delicious recipe from Pinterest: Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookie Pancakes. Looks delicious right!? Banana, oatmeal, chocolate chips. And to top it off, I even made it in the shape of a heart for Valentine’s Day. (Ok, a week or so early, but I just love love!) Confession: I think this was my first time ever making homemade pancakes by myself. In the past it’s always been with a mix, and with other people. But hey, it’s pinterest! You can’t go wrong right!? (Ya right!)
I set the table- mason jars filled with orange juice, forks and napkins. I placed a shortstack of pancakes on both our plates, buttered them liberally, & sprinkled them with powdered sugar. We sat down, Jeff prayed and we dug in. Warm chocolately goodness filled our mouths. Then we both stopped and looked at each other quizically. We tried our hardest to finish our bites as we chewed for what seemed like a few minutes.
“Um, babe. Are these cooked all the way? They taste a little doughy.”
“Ya, they taste funny.”
“Is it the banana? Or oatmeal?”

Jeff tore apart one of the perfectly heart shaped pancakes trying to dissect what was wrong.

Then I just started to giggle. And giggle some more.
Yep. These pancakes were not cooked fully. It wasn’t the banana or oatmeal, although I’d sure love to think so. No, I simply hadn’t cooked them long enough and couldn’t recook them now that they were bathing in pools of syrup.

My first homemade sweetheart breakfast gone awry. Jeff tried his darndest to eat some of it, but couldn’t quite manage to stomach it.

“Babe. It’s wonderful. Make it again. It’s so good. Just needs some more cooking. It’s so great though. Yum. Ya. So good.”

My sweet husband.

I simply sat at the table smiling, thanking the Lord for life. Unexpected moments. Moments that you plan to be perfect, and they aren’t—but it makes it that much better. I’ll always remember the morning I tried to have this awesome breakfast, but it was just doughy goo and we laughed our way through it.
I’m thankful for my husband who encouraged me and thanked me for making it.
And I’m so very thankful at how the Lord has grown me in the few months we’ve been married. If this had happened a couple of months ago, I would have broken down crying because it wasn’t perfect. But God is doing something so sweet in my heart—He’s refining me and pruning me of my perfectionism—my desire to do everything perfectly, and when I don’t, falling apart because that’s what I put my identity in—performance. God’s working in me. Changing me. Teaching me that I am His, not what I do, or fail to do. And because of that, I have freedom to grow. Freedom to make mistakes and learn. Freedom to serve doughy pancakes to my husband, and point him to the cereal cabinet! I know that one day I’ll be able to serve my family hearty pancakes, but it takes time; it takes time to learn those skills. And I’m ok with that. I’m thankful for this learning time. I’m thankful for doughy, heart shaped pancakes.

(I did manage to eat all of—I think it was the chocolate. Choc-aholic anyone!? Also, the recipe really is great! Just needs to cook properly.)