Does Marriage Have To Be This Hard? - Jeff and Alyssa

Hey! Jeff (and Alyssa) here.

Over the years since we’ve been married, we’ve received so many questions about our marriage and relationships in general. Dating questions, money questions, sex questions and…you name it.

“I feel like my dreams have to die in order for us to follow my spouse’s. How do you make two dreams and callings work in a marriage?”

“I waited twenty-five years to have sex, but now that I’m married, we barely touch one another…what do I do?”

“How are we supposed to make this work when my wife and I think completely different about how to manage our money?”

“Will I ever be able to meet the expectations that my husband brought to bed with his porn addiction?”

“Who do YOU think should pick up the dog poop in the backyard?”

That last one’s my favorite (Alyssa, obviously!).

But the hard questions matter. We all enter into marriage with false presumptions and unrealistic expectations about what it will be, it’s just a fact of life. If couples aren’t prepared to work through them together, well…we’ve all seen the pain that comes and spreads as a result of failed relationships.

Divorce. Broken families. Discovering your spouse’s porn problem. Finding yourself being a single mom. I can’t even imagine how devastating it would be to see our kids, Kinsley and Kannon, go through something like that.

We’ve answered some of your questions since we got married four years ago, but until now, we’ve never taken the time to sit down and get to the core of our own questions about what makes a lifelong marriage possible. Alyssa and I want a healthy, vibrant relationship as much as the people who ask us how to have one.

We’re excited to invite you into on our personal journey to discover how to make that possible.

We’ve been working together for over two years on something called the Love That Lasts Experience, which is a 12-week relationship journey that covers the 12 most important topics in every relationship, including ours. The stuff we struggle with, avoid or just plain don’t know what to do with.

The Love That Lasts Experience includes:
– Love That Lasts for Men and Love That Lasts for Women guidebooks.
– 12 video lessons by our marriage mentors on 12 big topics.
– The Deep Love Assessment-a fun and easy way to get closer to each other.
– Our brand new Love That Lasts book (ships to you first week in October).

Alyssa wrote a guidebook for women and I wrote a guidebook for men. We each wrote out of our own experience and share what we’ve learned. In each guidebook, there is space for personal writing and reflection and conversation questions for you to discuss with one another afterward.

Now, you may be wondering: “You’ve only been married four years, what do you know?”

Valid question and kind of funny; we sort of agree! Alyssa and I have realized that we haven’t discovered the answers on our own, but through the wisdom and encouragement we’ve received from our mentors and older, married couples that we are privileged enough to know.

That said, we want to introduce them to you.

As a part of this journey, we reached out to our “Top 12” couples. These are husbands and wives who are experts, doctors, marriage counselors and pastors whom we respect and look up to in regards to the 12 big topics we struggle with, avoid or don’t know what to do with. We invited them to share their advice with us, some of which has literally changed the course of our marriage (for the best!). We believe it will do the same for you. We’re including each couples’ wisdom as a 12-video course to go along with the guidebooks Alyssa and I wrote together.

We’ve got a lot to learn, too. You’re right, four years isn’t that long. We wanted to make sure that if we are going to share this part of our lives with you, it is rooted in truth and experience. The best teachers are lifelong learners, which is why we asked these 12 mentors and older, married friends to add almost 200 years of collective learning experience to help us speak to the most important topics for developing a love that lasts.

In many ways, we created the Love That Lasts Experience because we need it as much as anyone. These are the questions Alyssa and I wanted answers to. We don’t want to wait until something threatens our marriage to start paying attention to the most important parts of it.

Do you?

Marriage is an ongoing process of growth in love, service and connection. We need help understanding one another, so we’re also going to include an incredible tool that has helped us get a better picture of our relationship-the Deep Love Assessment. This, along with the guidance our mentors have provided, has helped us communicate with one another better, created more intimacy in our marriage and given us practical steps to enrich our love.

Of all the things that marriage requires us to face together, I don’t ever want divorce or a broken family to be among them.

The Love That Lasts Experience is an invitation to you-young or old, single or married, newlywed or a decade in, with or without children-to come with us and experience all the joy that God has to give through love and marriage.

See you on the journey,

Jeff & Alyssa

P.S. You get access to all of this stuff right away. Upon purchasing, you will get digital copies of the guidebooks and access to the videos. The physical guidebooks will ship within days of placing your order. You can take 12 weeks to do this or do it in 12 days if you are that couple! In addition to this, we have a book releasing with Thomas Nelson called Love That Lasts that comes out October 10th, 2017. With the purchase of the Love That Lasts Experience, you will receive that book in the mail the day it releases!