“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can do with your life. Be very sure now, you who have been trained to a self-sufficient maturity, that you enter into a generous common life with those who have trained you, sharing all the good things that you have and experience.
Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.” Galatians 6:4-8 (msg)
As my friend (and mentor- what do you call those? Frentor?!) and I cozied up under her lanai with our china cups of English tea and shared our hearts, I asked her how she works through her insecurities of writing.
Because the truth is I’ve been plagued by them for a while now.
Doubt. Fear. Excuses. Comparisons. My biggest fear being that I’m not using my gifts that God has given me; I’m just hiding them away and pretending like they don’t exist. It’s too hard. Too scary. It takes vulnerability.
Any art does right? You pour your whole self into it and people can take it or leave it. Like it or hate it. It can resonate with their soul or not touch them at all. Art is the overflow of your heart and when you put that on paper- or whatever you create- the outcome sometimes is unknown. It takes a lot of time. Energy. Courage. And the more vulnerable you are, the more people it touches. But that’s straight up scary!
However, despite my excuses and fears, I can’t shake this deep desire in my heart to write. To share stories and be honest and tell how great my God is. I want to make people laugh, and let them know they are not alone. I want to be a banner of hope that points to our true Hope.
As I shared all of this, my dear friend could completely relate. She’s been there. She faces these same insecurities all the time. But she knows that this is what God has called her to. And when she does it, she loves it. God has used her words to bring so many people to Himself- including me!
The next morning when I woke up I had a text message telling me to spend time in Galatians 6 that morning (the message version) and to ask God what He’s calling me to. Spend time laying down my insecurities to Him. Write it down, make a memorial, so I can look back on the truth again and again.
Satan wants nothing more than to steal us away from the gifts that God has given us. To make us doubt and compare ourselves to others. And I’d been giving into him for so long. Comparing myself with so many. Instead I should be rejoicing over their specific gifting and learning from them. I’ve let my comparisons stop me dead in my tracks. “I’m not as good as so and so. Not as funny. Not as wise. Not as courageous.”
Well KAPOOEY on that! No more. I’m laying those comparisons at His feet and moving forward. A daily surrender. A daily remembering of who God is and who He has called me to be.
An outpouring of what He has done and is doing. I am His. I am Spoken For. And spoken to give Him praise with my unique gifting.
What is God calling you to today? What is stirring in your heart? What insecurities are stopping you that you need to lay down at His feet?
Ephiesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Monday, March 16, 2015