We were all gathered in a circle on my friend’s living room floor. I was gently opening their sweet gifts for my 23rd birthday. Sigh. I felt so blessed. Here were some of the dearest women in my life, all here to celebrate me. Seriously!?
Pulling out the tissue paper, I pulled out a frame covered in shells. Turning it over to see the photo, tears started to well up in my eyes. It wasn’t a photo; in its place was a verse,
“For the LORD God is a sun and a shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” || Psalm 84:11
“Thank you”, softly flowed off my lips as I hugged the frame close to my heart. This was one of my favorite verses; I had clung to it since my junior year in high school when a mentor pointed it out to me. I couldn’t count how many times I had repeated this truth to my weary, aching heart.
A few weeks ago in our bible study we were talking about how we walk through seasons of wanting to be in a relationship when we’re not—when we’re in the season of singleness when we long to be with someone? I shared this verse with the girls because this was my verse as I walked through my seasons of singleness when it was hard. Yes, we can tell ourselves, “Oh, it’s okay. The right guy will come along someday.” Our friends can tell us that, our parents can tell us that. But for me, that never totally filled me with hope. “But what if that guy doesn’t come along?” I would think. Or, “How long Lord?” When my friends started to date, and get engaged, and then married. When I had just broken up with my first boyfriend. (Who I now am married to!) When I had just been broken up with. How do we walk through those seasons? Those thoughts?
By running to Jesus.
Putting our hope in Jesus.
Beloved, He alone is our hope. He alone is our anchor and our shield. He gives promises, and His promises are sure. He is faithful. This verse declares that not only does God shine on us and shower us with grace, not only does He actually give us honor and favor—He loves us. He wants us. BUT there’s more. There’s a promise:
He withholds nothing good from those who walk uprightly.
If we are His, if we are following Jesus—then Beloved, take heart. He is withholding no good thing from you. Wherever you are right now, that is His best for you. God is full of wisdom and knows what is best for His children. If you are single, then He knows that that is best for you right now. For today. He is fulfilling His very purpose for you today. If you are dating someone than that is His best for you right now—He is fulfilling His purpose for you. If you are married right now, than that is His best for you. Wherever you find yourself today, if you are walking close to Jesus, than God is withholding no good from you beloved.
But I left out the best part. Verse 12,
“O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you.”
Blessed is the one who trusts in Him.
Beloved, trust Jesus today for where you are. You are in His hands. He is holding you. He cares for you. He is careful with you. Take heart. He is for your good.
How can you apply this verse to your current situation? Are you walking uprightly? How does this verse fill you with hope?
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about three years now. I long to be a mother and while I know God is soverign, I sometimes struggle seeing other mothers with their babies and wonder why can’t I have that blessing especially when others ask me when will we begin having children of our own. Your post and sharing of Psalm 84 has given me hope again. Thank you for sharing.
Stormie, I know how you feel completely! My husband and I have been trying for around a year now. My friends ask me the same thing too! While that can be extremely annoying it doesn’t really help the matter that you are trying to let God tell you when it’s time. Hang in there he will give us children when we are ready! God bless you sister.
You precious soul! Do not lose hope! My husband & I tried for 9 years before we were blessed with our first child. I can completely understand your longing & frustration. I went through the exact same thing, especially when all of our friends were having babies (sometimes 2 before we had our first). But keep your faith strong. We now have little girls (4 & 2) that remind us daily of just how perfect God’s timing is!
Hey Stormie 🙂 We have a 3 year old daughter and have been trying for another for the past year and a half. I too struggle as all of my friends who have children my daughters’ age are now having or recently had their 2nd child. Literally, in the past year I’ve watched over 10 acquaintance celebrate baby #2 or announce the coming of another baby. I’ve also seen my friend through finding out she can no longer have children (she has one daughter already). The Lord has finally answered her prayers as I found out this weekend that she will be working with a surrogate in the near future. An acquaintance actually approached her with the offer to be a surrogate. I know God will provide for your hopes just the same! Bless you 🙂
Stormie–I understand your pain. For my husband and myself it was 6 years of childlessness. Our babies came in the form of 2 sweet little boys who were 3 & 7 years old and being removed by the state from their present family situation due to neglect. Both already had several diagnoses but it didn’t deter us. God had a plan and they were our plan. Ten years in we learned that most of the struggles we’ve dealt with through those first years were most likely due to fetal alcohol syndrome. The birth mother never admitted to any drug or alcohol usage during pregnancy but medical experts disagree. We’ve been to hell and back parenting them. One is a disabled adult who lives in a group home and has had several run ins with the law due to his impulsivity. The other has been in trouble with the law and is a treatment facility per court order and will remain under the jurisdiction of law enforcement for another year. So many times I prayed to be a mother and then these boys came into my life and the struggles were so many that without God I’d have never made it through. God had a plan then and he continued to have a plan. Seven years ago, at the age of 38 and without medical intervention, I became pregnant and gave birth to our first daughter at the age of 39. Just 21 months later I gave birth to our second daughter at the age of 41. God is Sovereign and their are those who never have babies of their own but keep the hope because God does have a plan for your life and a time frame for that plan to unfold. God loves you. Have you considered that God’s plan may be to serve as foster or adoptive parents???
I actually wouldn’t mind adoption. My husband, however, has many doubts and concerns.
Stormie,
I just said a prayer for you and your husband. We’ve been trying for 2 years and you said exactly everything I’ve been feeling about it. I know God’s plan for my life is bigger and better than I could imagine, but in the waiting, I sometimes struggle to remember and focus on that.
Thank you so much! Your prayers are greatly appreciated!! You all are added to prayer list as well!
Stormie, my husband and I are in a similar season. We’ve been trying to have a baby and have been “unsuccessful.” Through all this I have been diagnosed with Hasimoto’s disease and PCOS. Hashimoto’s is when your immune system attacks your thyroid, destroying it. PCOS is polcystic ovarian syndrome. Both of these have drastically changed my life and greatly effect how I feel from day to day. I had a mix of emotions when I received my diagnosis: saddened yet happy to know what was going on. One day I stumbled upon a girl I had been in college with several years ago. It turns out she too has Hashimoto’s as well as PCOS. She and her husband invested thousands into fertility treatments, which all failed. At one point they gave up trying completely because the heart ache grew to be too much. One day she went to her primary care doctor for some other issues, and they had her give a urine sample. She was pregnant! For once I felt completely full of joy for a new mom! Her story has been such an encouragement to me. God does adore you. He does want to fulfill the desires of your heart, and he is always faithful. I have to tell myself that e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. Praying for you. In the name of Jesus!
AMEN! Thank you for sharing this Alyssa. It was quite timely. 🙂
Alyssa thank you so much for sharing this today. The whole blog covers where I’m at right now… Recently single & trusting Jesus for the future.
The Lord showed me this verse on Sunday night and its been mediating in my heart ever since. He is so faithful! He is so worthy! He is my husband! 🙂
Be blessed! xo
Wow… WISDOM!!!
Long this year have I wondered why I haven’t had a relationship. Why God hadnt sent someone to me yet. Halfway through my freshman year of college, and I’m at a loss. This entry is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!
WOW just what I needed to read – you hit the nail on the head and really blessed me – Thank you x
Thank you so much for taking the time to let God speak through you.. I totally needed this.
This is a beautiful verse, thank you so much for showing it to me. This verse confirms the hope that I am anchored in. No good thing does He withhold” I’m a fairly new christian, its been about a year and half since Jesus came and rescued me and the hope that keeps me going, the hope that I’ve desperately clung to was the reality of His presence. He never withholds His presence.
Thank you for sharing this, God bless you 🙂
Needed to hear that thanks!!!
Thank you! In a time where your the only single girl around your small group of friends you feel the pressure coming unto you and hope is all you hold unto. This came right in time for me today. Trusting and waiting on God never felt so good. Thank You Alyssa! Blessing..
You have no idea how much I needed this today. Yesterday I found out that the guy I really liked likes my roommate and she likes him too. It’s been hard to deal with considering I rarely ever like anyone and of course it happens to be my roommate he likes. I have been to preach myself truth and run into the arms of Jesus. You just really said what I needed to hear, thank you so much.
This is so encouraging, Alyssa! This verse has been on my heart for a little while; it’s a good reminder that I can always trust God with his wonderful plans for my life.
You should check out Sara Groves’ song, “Open My Hands.” It pertains to this subject and I think you’d enjoy it!
been preaching*
This came right on time. I am actually going to put it in my wall as a constant reminder because walking with Christ and being young is a struggle. I am getting to the point now where I am ok with making the choices that I know that God would want me to make but I still encounter people that wonder and I even have times where I wonder myself. This lets me know (& it will let everyone that I tell know as well) that holding on is worth it. “The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it!”
WOW. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I was just searching for bible verses to get through the tough single season. Thank you so much for posting this!
Alyssa,
Thank you so much for this post! I have been single for the past 5 ½ years and was honestly very content with it. Yes I desired to be married but I was truly okay with remaining single, I even enjoyed it. A little over a year ago I started to feel my heart stirring and desiring to be married. Within the past couple of months that desire has become a burning desire with what feels like little hope. This post for me is exactly where I am at now, striving to grasp on to Jesus and find peace. Thank you for this reminder and encouragement. It really has blessed me!!! May blessings be poured out to Jeff and you as you have poured out so many to others!!!!
Alyssa thank you for allowing the Spirit to use you to share this msg & for being an encouager.
I am 25yrs old & single mother. I am struggling with the “singleness” for almost a year. But this brought me back to know that God is my ALL. so again Thank you (:
God Bless you, your husband & your ministries.
PS: when you have a moment, please pray for my daughter & i also for my ministry.
This is a truth that the Lord is declaring corporately lately! 4th time in 24 hours that I’ve been led to Psalm 84 🙂 “He is withholding no good thing from you. Wherever you are right now, that is His best for you.” Present tense. Accurate. Good gifts are coming, yeah, but good gifts are here today! Thanks for the reminder and for taking this revelation deeper at the perfect time! Jesus. So good.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m in a period of life when I’m thinking a lot about why I’m single and so on. I know God holds it in His hand, but I always thinking about when the right guy comes, and for how long I need to wait. With this verse you gave me peace and hope. Thank you so much, this was exactly what I needed to hear! 😀
Hi,
lovely words. But, I wonder how you think about this: Christians living in a war zone, christian children living with an abusive parent, to mention some circumstances. I do not think that is God’s best for them. Do you? I’m not sure we can say that what ever is going on is God’s best for us? Or what do you think?
Thank you,
Hanne
Thank you, Alyssa! Love reading your posts. God bless you!
Hugs from your sister in Christ in Norway =D
Thanks so much for this. I’m turning 27 this year and haven’t been in a relationship in almost a decade.I’m feeling very discouraged by my reality and like you said encouragement and hope from friends isn’t enough to strengthen and renew my faith in ever getting married! But Jesus is enough and His word is forever a lamp unto my feet. Thank you for reminding me that He is not a man that he would lie! Blessings
Wow!! Such an inspiration to keep in the faith! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
Hi Alyssa,
What is your opinion/belief on the spiritual gift of celibacy? I think that so often my fear is that God hasn’t brought the right man into my life because he has called me to a life of celibacy. I know that if this is his call then of course I should answer – but that just feels like such a stab in my heart. Never being about to be in a loving intimate relationship or wose never bear children. Do you think that it is something that he really does call us to – a life of singleness?
one of my favorite verses!!!! I heard a pastor once say, “God gave you the most precious gift Heaven could offer (Jesus)…and you think He is holding out on you?”
How can you have hope if your struggling with your faith? I’ll admit I don’t trust in God as much as I trust myself. Is God still looking out for me? Or am I stuck in my own destructive path?
Hi, Lauren! 🙂 YES, absolutely, God is looking out for you always! God is faithful to who He is, even when we aren’t! (2 Tim 2:13) I’m also currently in a season where I’m not as close to God as I would like to be, nor as I am used to. I just feel a bit stagnant in my faith, not as “on fire” as I typically am. However I am CHOOSING to believe His promises to me and I am CHOOSING to try my best to draw closer to Him, as we get out what we put in. I believe that if our hearts are truly seeking the Lord and our eyes are set on Jesus, God will honor that and reward us. It is only a destructive path if we are choosing to let our distance grow larger by not doing anything about. Lean into Jesus’ promises about who He wants to be in your life, and I promise you will fall so deeply in love with Him. It is only a matter of believing that He is who He says He is. I hope this helps you.. I’m praying for your journey!
Alyssa, it is amazing how time and time again The Lord uses your posts to speak to my heart. As seniors in high school who have never had serious boy friends or dates, it’s so encouraging to hear how you never dated until Jeff, and the encouraging verses The Lord reveals to you. Thank you so much for your wisdom!
Thank you so much, I feel like God just spoke to me. I just got out of a relationship because of domestic violence and this is just a reminder that God put me in this situation for a reason, and even though I may still love the guy and believe he can change, leaving him was the best decision ever because God would never take something good from me.
Wow… Wow. My heart has been hurting so terribly. Jesus knew I needed this. Thank you so, so much, and God bless you.
This post was very inspiring and touching for me. I’ve been feeling really down for the past 7 months because my boyfriend & I broke up. I’ve dated occasionally since the break up, but it’s not the same. I haven’t lost my faith at all whatsoever. The fact that you added that you & Jeff at one point had broken up while boyfriend and girlfriend and now are married really brought Joy to my heart. I’m very hopeful that maybe one day our amazing Lord can bring my love back into my life and have a second chance at love. This verse is so beautiful and I know that my God is with me always and I will always trust Him. Thank you so much Alyssa for sharing.
thanks for sharing this! can you do a blog on how to get close to Jesus after you have a parted from him? please. I love reading your blogs and would love to know how you got close to Jesus throughout the hard times in your life.
thank you so much for posting this … not only did i need to hear this but reminded that even when i dnt understand why things are the way they are sometimes “HE KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR ME” so thank you alyssa for ur wisdom and ur love for the Lord.
i have been following you on fb and Jeff as well, i might be young at the moment only 18 for a relationship but i really admire what you and jeff have, how God is centered in everything that you guys do, and your words, posts etc give me so much encouragement to mostly wait and know that my ways are not God’s way and that good things happen to those who wait 🙂
Your posts always gladden my heart Alyssa! It comforts my heart to know that God has His best for my RIGHT now
I can’t believe how direct and clear are this words from God to me… God is awesome 🙂
Thanks for posting Alyssa, this applies to my life exactly right now.
This hits home for me. For a while I have been struggling with life’s purpose for me and if this is where I am supposed to be….. what if there is something else out there… when will I ever meet the right person to share my life with?! This has reignited my faith. Knowing that this is his best for me right Now! I will continue to be patient and have faith in him and know that he is the author of my story and I am exactly where he wants me to do be. Thanks for this!
Love. love. love!
This applies to me in my marriage, which is new and a little challenging at times, but also in so many other places of my life. I often question why God puts me in certain yucky situations (my job, our money struggles, etc). However, then something always happens to make me realize that those unfortunate situations prepared me for new opportunities. We, as women, are so much more than the relationship we are in, or not in. If you’re not in a relationship it’s okay, God wants you to work on you, and if you let Him he will do amazing things.
Wow. Thank you for sharing that! I am writing that verse in my journal right now 🙂
Hi Alyssa,
I was saved out of a Sikh family a year and a half ago. My name is Aimee but it means “beloved,” and that was pointed out to me around that time. The worship leader of my church said “you’ll find out why you’re name that, because God loves you.” Thank you so much for this post…it really ministered to me. God is so great! And you are such an inspiration to me!!
this is awesome!
I have this verse underlined in my bible, but never really put that much thought towards the last part of it..“O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you.”
I can rest and relax, because I am blessed cause I trust in Him!
LOVE THIS! I am so encouraged by your blog! Thank you for sharing what’s on your heart! You are an inspiration!
The Lord knew I needed this. I have been struggling with this lately. Thanks Alyssa.
Oh my word! Boy, did I need to hear this!!! Beautiful 🙂
Hi Alyssa! Even though people may consider me young, as I am still in highschool, this is something I have dreamt for since I was a little girl. This is exactly what I needed to hear! So much, that God pointed this all out to me and I am now crying tears of joy. I have been struggling with this for a while now and feel that God has made it evident that he desires this plan for me as well as he did for you. Thank you for sharing this post! God works in wonderful ways! He is so sovereign, faithful, and works for the good of us. This is a verse I will be posting in my room!
May God continue to bless you Alyssa for your ever faithful, humble words of encouragement to many who are struggling with ‘singleness’. God is indeed writing a beautiful love story with each of our lives…so today i rejoice, in his grace and everlasting love.
I found myself at the age of 37 after a broken engagement desperate to be married. I married a man that said he was a believer but I saw very little evidence. But as I said I was 37 and desperate. Instead of really praying that God’s will be done, I had already decided that I was going to marry this man. In. stead of trusting God and waiting for his best I was married to someone who didn’t really love me. I felt like I was trapped because I didn’t believe in divorce. But God saw my desperation and my husband ended up leaving me. I learned through this marriage that instead of expecting my husband to take care of me and being disappointed so often, I could always depend on my father. I still believe in marriage if it is God’s will and I am happily single and trusting my father. What I was looking for in my husband I found that I already had in my father.
Thank you for this wonderful blog. I was recently hurt badly and battled to understand why God allowed it to happen, but looking back things would’ve been alot worse if the relationship had gone any further. He truly does know what’s best for us and even though it’s hard at times we just have to trust in His timing and be patient
I have been single since birth…and I’m about to turn 19 in September. I’ve only had a couple guys show interest in me, but it never really led to anything. I always thought there was something wrong with me, that guys don’t want to be with me because I’m overweight or unattractive, and I beat myself up for a long time about that. But I never stopped to consider the idea that God doesn’t want me to be in a relationship for a reason. Those guys that I wanted desperately to like me were not good for me, and I realize now that being in a relationship with them wouldn’t have helped me at all, but would have eventually hurt me. I’m learning to trust in God because His plan is so much greater than I can imagine, and I’m no longer preoccupied with finding a boyfriend. This article helped me understand that, and I thank you! ♥