You know those parts of your life that when you look back on them, or maybe you’re just coming out of one, you can tangibly feel the darkness and despair and shame? The parts of your life that were really hard, and either full of grief and pain, or the parts that were full of shame and embarrassment? And even though God’s healed you, or you’ve found freedom and victory in that area, you still don’t love talking about that time or going back there in your mind?

That’s how I felt for so many years regarding my eating disorder. Yes, God had healed me. Yes, I could mention my brief story to a friend. But I didn’t like going back “there”. I remember a few years ago a time lapse picture had popped up on my feed of when I was in the depths of my anorexia, and I got chills seeing myself back then. All the lies, all the insecurities came flashing back in that one glance of a picture.

But now, after walking in freedom for eight years, I can finally say that I’m ready to share my story. And not just ready, but thankful. Sure, my heart still breaks that this is part of my story. How I would love to just erase that part, but then I wouldn’t know Jesus the way I do, nor would I be able to tell of his redemptive story in my life.

See, God really does make all things new. He really does redeem and use our stories for his glory. No longer do I look back on that time wanting to bury my head in my hands with my heart racing. But now, I can look back on that time and see that I’m not that girl anymore. I can see God’s mighty work in me. And rejoice. He is a saving God, able to deliver and bring true freedom.

Is there something in your life that you’re currently healing from? Something in your past that still brings back all the feels? Have hope today, and take courage, that one day, God will use your story. It’s not for vain. God will bring full redemption, full healing, full victory and one day you’ll be able to bring healing and freedom to someone else.

Love,

Alyssa