Mysterious Black Bag

Dog-Poop-You-Scoop-Sign-S-5615Yesterday was a wonderful day! Sunshine. Baby Rosalie born. Time with my Mom and Dad. Serving with my sweet husband.

In celebration of the lovely day, my mom and I took Aslan for a walk at a new park. Meadows. Forest. Trails. Geese. Needless to say Aslan loved it! Well, as usual, he pooped during the walk and I, like a good dog owner, picked it up with the black doggy bag and carried it around during our walk since there were no trash cans around. I loaded Aslan into the car, and placed the bag carefully on the floor, itching to throw it away as soon as we got to our lunch spot.

My mom and I drove over to Starbucks to grab a quick coffee and sandwich. I quickly grabbed the black bag, anxious to dump it in one of the outside trashcans. To my dismay, there were no outside trashcans to be found! A spirit of panic overcame me, and I brought it into the store.

(I know. Wrong move.)

I walked in, politely smiled at the baristas at the bar, and then in a moment of haste, I chucked the bag into the trashcan. You know– the one in the middle of the “serve yourself” bar—among the sugars, milk and straws. Yes. I threw the bag full of poop into the inside garbage can where people gather around to fix up their precious, expensive, delicious drinks.

At the moment, I thought that it was questionable, but perhaps understandable. I told myself they’d take out the trash quickly. “I’m sure of it.” Right Alyssa.

Walking over to get in line with my mom, she asked nonchalantly, “Did you find a trashcan outside?”

Looking at the menu of drinks, I half-heartedly said, “Oh, there weren’t any. I just threw it away in the inside trashcan.”

I looked at my mom. She was frozen. Her eyes were huge. Her hand was covering her mouth in complete shock.

Then it hit me.

What have I done!?

I talked quickly. “Oh no. That was bad huh?! What do I do?”

“You should go retrieve it out. Yes, we need to get it out of there and put it back in your car.”

“What!?”

“Okay, I’ll go over and check on it. If it’s up at the top, we’ll take it out and put it in the car. If not, then…”

We nodded.

I watched my mom quietly walk over, glance in and then shake her head at me.

No. It was too far-gone, already buried.

Oh man.

We tried to throw every piece of trash we could in there so it’d quickly fill up and they’d be forced to take it outside.

I’m still in shock. I was desperate. I wasn’t thinking.

And now I am so embarrassed to say, I am one of those customers.

My apologies to any customers who got a whiff of that heinous poop. My apologies to the Starbucks employee who had to drag that trash outside.

Little black bag of dookie—may you rest in peace.

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1 comment

  1. …clearly you have forgotten your days of working at Starbucks! That is hilarious. We find far worse things than dog poop in bags in the garbage. You know the barista’s probably just thought whoever was sitting closest to the condiment bar was cutting wind…. Please say this wasn’t at my starbucks though 😀

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