Hope in Singleness

6b229a944b055296a5af87f06929849bMy good friend Jeff Cherry wrote a blog today about singleness. If you find yourself in this season of singleness, check it out here: The Purpose of Singleness. Thank you Jeff for your heart, wisdom and pointing it all back to Jesus.

Although many people would say that I wasn’t single very long considering I got married at 25, I remember vividly being in that season and having it seem like f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

“When Lord? When will I get asked out? When will a guy like me? When will I have my chance at love? When will I meet my husband?”

I wish I could say that I walked through the season of singleness with a heart full of hope, bursting with thankfulness to God and embracing every moment for His sake. Some seasons, yes. Some seasons I loved being single. Some seasons I was totally content and satisfied with it just being Jesus and me.

But often, I fought to be content. I fought to be thankful. I wondered why. I wondered when. I was bitter. I was fearful—Has God forgotten me? Does he see me?

And through a heart breaking summer, I found that yes, He sees me. Yes, He knows my very heart, my every longing and desire and hope. He did not forget me. And He has not forgotten you beloved. He is for your joy. He is for your good and His glory. God is always at work in our lives—we may not know how, we may not understand—but we must believe.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Is. 55:9

God is for you. If you are in a season of singleness right now, know—believe—trust that God has you there because it’s for your best. It wouldn’t be best for you right now to be with someone. As Jeff Cherry said, maybe He’s refining you and purging you of a sin that needs to be dealt with before you bring someone into your world. Maybe it’s because He wants you to truly trust Him and build a solid foundation with Him first. Maybe it’s because He is using you in a mighty way that couldn’t be done if you were married right now….

I see all 3 of those while I was single. There was a lot of pruning to be done in my life for sure! One big one being that I needed to be healed and restored in how I viewed myself. I had an eating disorder for many years because I wanted to be in control and fell into the lie that I had to be skinny to be beautiful. No. God wanted to purge me of that and bring me into wholeness; to see that I am created in His image and therefore need to be a good steward of how I take care of my body. To know that I am beautiful because He created me, because He died for me—He gives me worth, not a boyfriend or husband. The Lord brought me through the valley and mountaintops of waiting well on Him—of truly trusting Him with His choice for me. Did I really believe in His Fatherly care for me? In His mighty power? In His ability and wisdom? And I was able to do awesome things that I can’t now as a married woman: College. Studying abroad in Israel. Traveling through Europe. Mission trip to South Africa. Intern in Maui. Living with awesome girls. Late night ice cream runs. Sleepovers in the living room.

According to statics, most likely you will get married.

But more importantly, take HOPE that God knows your heart.

He sees you.

He is for you.

Run into His arms and nestle yourself right into His chest. Think of your life as a ball of yarn. Pull out just a few inches…that’s your single season. Short. Oh so short compared to the rest. You can wait. In Him. And beloved, remember that our yarn goes to eternity. Our lives here on earth are very short. Soon, we will be with the Lover of our Souls, our Husband in Heaven, scarfing down food at the wedding feast. Soon we will be with our True Love. The One who pursued us, proposed to us on the cross and has given us His Holy Spirit as our engagement ring. He’s coming back. We don’t know when. But He is coming to get us. On a white horse, no less!

Take hope. He is for you. Wait well beloved.

 

Do you find it hard to wait while single? What helps you wait well?

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2 comments

  1. Do you find it hard to wait while single? What helps you wait well?

    I’ve been in the Lord for almost 3 years now. Because my past was full of men that never knew how to give or show me the love I wanted; I learned God’s love. His love is the love I always searched for. I enjoy being single right now because I get to know who I am in Him. God knows I want a husband and a family, but I surrendered it all to Him. He knows exactly what I need right now. Right now I could say no I don’t find it hard to wait, because I know He’s doing a great work in me. What helps me wait I guess is, surrounding myself with female friends, sometimes I see other relationships that can either remind me from something in the past or like a worldliness and it reminds me to wait, to not settle for just anyone, to not run wild with my own desires because they aren’t my own and I just want to be obedient to the Lord.

  2. Yeah. Sometimes it’s hard. But I’ve realized that, being single right now, at this very second, has brought me closer to God. I’m learning so much how to be single. I’m learning to have comfort in myself. and most importantly, having comfort in the Lord. My father has taught me that, we need to ask ourselves why we crave the attention of men so much? why do we need a boyfriend especially at such a young age? (I’m 19!) and I’ve realized that, because I feel lonely, or that I dont have someone to talk to. Now I’m learning that I am not alone, and that the Lord is always with me, and He is always there to listen. So honestly, I’m not exactly “single” per say, i am in a relationship, just a relationship with God. Thank you for your blog posts! They do give me such inspiration and motivation. <3

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